I have this distinct memory of when my son was about five months old. Every morning when I got out of bed I couldn't stand up straight, physically impossible, for at least half an hour. After a lot of pain and failed attempts to accept the pain I came to a sad conclusion. How I picked up my son and the frequency with which I had to bend over and pick him up, and the amount of time I carried him around had to change.
I adjusted the lift, used more knees. I sat down before I picked him up. I sat down more when he wanted to be held. I adjusted, I made it work and I slowly improved the quality of my life again. There was a down side however. Changing the way I held my son meant that I had to slow down, sit more, do less. It gave an exaggerated enormity to a feeling I was already struggling with. When I have a small child I largely feel like I am running in mud. A feeling that I will never move fast again. That all things I want to get done will never in fact be concluded again.
Life moved on. I lived in a constant state of frustration. When he learned to walk I cheered. Then I realized that I would have to stand and wait for him and walk slow. This phase was followed by various incarnations of "I do it mommy" phases where I had to watch, with mounting senses that nothing would ever get "done".
Now that son is four. I have a Chiropractor. I have a ten month old. My back lasted longer this time, but it is about to give out on me for good. My days of multitasking are limited and numbered. Creeping in is the sense that I am running in mud. Breathlessly getting absolutely no where, all the time. I'm also getting the distinct feeling that I didn't learn my lesson the first time. Maybe slowing down is a good thing. Maybe I can learn to watch my child move in slow motion with more compassion and joy. Maybe.
Maybe I will just learn to calm down a bit more and philosophically not change much at all. Time will tell. So will my back.
Monday, June 28, 2010
Friday, March 19, 2010
Changes
So, it is done, I have weaned Grady. Some may say "finally", heck even I say it a wee bit. But lets all remember I firmly believed in what I was doing, until I was ready to end it. At three years and seven months Gradys immune system may still not be entirely mature, depends on who you are listening to. Anyway the most interesting part was what Grady said to me just before he fell asleep the first night I declined. "Mommy I want it and I don't want it."
He is looking for new reassurances, and likes to watch Cora nurse more intently now, but it is as if he is passing the torch, lovingly.
He is looking for new reassurances, and likes to watch Cora nurse more intently now, but it is as if he is passing the torch, lovingly.
Monday, March 15, 2010
Been Photographing my cooking lately
Keep thinkning I'm going to be able get pictures of cooking with the kids into a recipie scrapbook.
Red Beans and Rice, wow new favorite!
Homemade Bread... Grady had to wait all day to punch it down.
Maple Oat-Nut Scones, very good!Wednesday, October 28, 2009
CDC Changes
So here is a compelling question.
If the CDC continues to find that they are losing the confidence of the American public by sticking to their agressive vaccine schedules could they create options.
We understand the importance of breastfeeding to the development of the immune system of babies and children. Babies not breast fed face greater vulnerablity to an array of diseases from ear infection to Lukemia.
Though advertizements would have us believe otherwise there is no substitute for colostrum or breast milk when it comes to developing and supporting immune function. Not only does the initial colostrum fire up the immune system but the continued breast feeding relationship is a living laboratory in which the mothers body, encountering all the germs and stresses that her baby does, continues to provide timely and specific immune protections.
Families across the country are experiencing severe adverse reactions to vaccines administered on the CDC schedule. Aside from the discussion of vaccine preservatives is the genuine concern amongst parent over the onslot of disease the newborn will have injected into their immature body and immune system. Those who intend to delay vaccinations often find themselves not vaccinating.
Knowing all this it could be medically wise to supply a more relaxed and patient vaccination schedule for breast feeding families. If the CDC could create a schedule for the exclusively breast fed baby I believe they would find a double bonus. More families would return to vaccinating their children instead of being terrified by agressive schedules. I believe also that the message would be clear to those who wish to forgo vaccinations. Breastfeeding can protect and save babies.
If the CDC continues to find that they are losing the confidence of the American public by sticking to their agressive vaccine schedules could they create options.
We understand the importance of breastfeeding to the development of the immune system of babies and children. Babies not breast fed face greater vulnerablity to an array of diseases from ear infection to Lukemia.
Though advertizements would have us believe otherwise there is no substitute for colostrum or breast milk when it comes to developing and supporting immune function. Not only does the initial colostrum fire up the immune system but the continued breast feeding relationship is a living laboratory in which the mothers body, encountering all the germs and stresses that her baby does, continues to provide timely and specific immune protections.
Families across the country are experiencing severe adverse reactions to vaccines administered on the CDC schedule. Aside from the discussion of vaccine preservatives is the genuine concern amongst parent over the onslot of disease the newborn will have injected into their immature body and immune system. Those who intend to delay vaccinations often find themselves not vaccinating.
Knowing all this it could be medically wise to supply a more relaxed and patient vaccination schedule for breast feeding families. If the CDC could create a schedule for the exclusively breast fed baby I believe they would find a double bonus. More families would return to vaccinating their children instead of being terrified by agressive schedules. I believe also that the message would be clear to those who wish to forgo vaccinations. Breastfeeding can protect and save babies.
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Cora's Birth
Coralynn is here.
AFTER 4 weeks of prodromal labor and 3 days of Latent Labor (3-5 min apart 1 min long, sessions usually all night) and 18 hours active labor... only 45 min of pushing... here she is!!!
No induction, no pitocin (until after for bleeding), just a membrane sweep after the 2 1/2 days of exhausting "real" labor.
The most amazing VBAC Success. I want to extend a very special THANK YOU to every single mother out there who has ever written her birth story down, posted pictures and videos or openly shared wishes, regrets, experiences and plans. My head was so full of ideas that I navigated this exhausting time suprisingly well. Bless you all.
August 28th, 3:07 pm
Coralynn Eleanor Micheal
9 lbs 3 oz, 21 inches long
42 wks 4 days gestation
Labored Monday night 9p-5am 3-5 min appart...petered out.
Tuesday sent my son to relatives expecting that was hold me back - nothing but some good sleep interupted by not as strong 10m apart contractions.
Wenesday night, nursed my son to bed - contrax started...5 then 3 min then 2 minutes apart... I called the doula who arrived at 3am and confirmed labor. Before dawn it began spacing and petering out. She went home around 9:30am exhausted. My contractions were down to 20 minutes apart.
Thursday afternoon I called my Midwife in Disguise to fill her in since she new things had picked up the night before but hadn't heard from us. She agreed to meet me at her office after hours. Around 7:30, we did an NST and cervical check - we were so curious, I tried to prepare for "no news" effect but I was 2 cm (instead of 1) 75% and favorable so on a "whim" I let her do a second membrane sweep.
We were home by 8:30 ...at 42 weeks and 3 days....I treated myself to two bowls of mint chip ice cream. After the second bowl I knew it was moving again at atleast 5 m apart - when we went to confirm it was more like 2-3 with 1+ contractions.
After all we'd been through my husband was skeptical and put our son to bed. I was already thinking "call the troops!". By the time he came out of the bedroom I was really rolling so he started cleaning up the kitchen and taking out the trash, sorting things to stay awake and get things in order I imagine. We had both become pretty good at the skepticisim and I was afraid to correct him since the midwife didn't really provide us with a reason to think NOW!
Anyway I went into my zone, he went online... next to me, keeping nearby. Somewhere along the way we decided the doula would work best at the hospital and when we touched base I didn't really indicate anything special or tell her about the membrane sweep, I told her to get rest.
Somewhere around 10p they became 2 minutes apart, at about 1 min long ( I had NO IDEA my body could or would do this to me!)
Around 10pm I made hubby draw me a bath. I didn't care if it slowed labor I wanted pain relief. Unfortunately I really just irritated the heck out of me and wasn't nearly warm enough. Then I had to drag my sorry, contracting self out of the tub and get dressed again. That took a while. It sucked.
About midnight I tried to ask the contractions to slow down so I could skip one or two and rest and I laid on the couch and asked hubby to rub my feet. That lasted 30 seconds, upon which I violently and imediately had to get UP! I was clearly unable to labor with her lying down. Quickly I was on the floor on all fours screaming for a bucket and threw up - I hated and loved that - it was something really going on...though I was sure it wasn't transition yet. I looked at the clock and thought I better tell Mark to get things moving, but I didn't. I was gonna hang in as long as I could.
Fifteen minutes later it was clear to me I could no longer cope with the contractions alone using imagery and inner talk I had had it and I knew I had a long trip to the hospital to meet everyone and get a frigin epidural. I told hubby to call everyone "NOW" we are going to the hospital. He had a moment of irritation because I was making him wake up 3 different households but he survived. Family was on the way to meet us at hospital along with Doula and MD.
The car ride was fun. I really had to focus not to scream and wake our son. Amazingly he had slept through everything at the house. I managed to be quiet for about 10 contax on the highway.
(hopefully not too triggering, but will mention molestation...)
When I arrived at hospital at about one am I HAD to walk from the door to the elevators and through the halls to L&D. There really was no otherway to handle hand off of son and get me situated. I did it, and mentally turned it in its ear... for all those who weren't allowed to walk in. Amazingly I did it with no actual contrac until I dropped my purse and handed off my medical card. This was quite a feat since I was contracting every two minutes, for a minute for the last three hours.
I met the most worn out nurse. I immediately asked if she had seen my birthplan. "NO but we have routines"... she tried to hand me a gown...NOPE hadn't read it for sure - specifically mentioned don't ask me to disrobe or wear a gown as it would be triggering of a molestation when I was 3 and boys played doctor on me.
Sooo. I asked for the alternative. Strip. Great!... that felt all wrong... so I got the old "Screw this" thing out of my back pocket and hid in the shower for about 30 minutes till my team was there. Everyone there knew my story - knew about all the therapy and work and "rules" I came up with to feel safe.
I put on an old ratty shirt I had worn years ago at Reiki retreat...
I was checked and found to be a 5 !!! I just kept saying "All by myself! I did it.". Five was such hard work on Pitocin with the birth of my son (requiring a folly bulb, and I never progressed past 5cm) three years ago.
I asked for the epidural upon which my amazing doula said 'O.K. but lets just try first to calm you down, lets just try'. And for two amazing hours I stared into her eyes as she talked out my focus for each contraction, growing roots... and then I started falling asleep between contractions. I was amazed. Her faith and focus helped me SOOOO much. But eventually the contractions started to really wear me down and I couldn't get "Epidural" out of my head (my thinking based on stories I have read was that sometimes we have to focus on the big goals, not be too stubborn, which I am very guilty of. I had to consider my energy level and whether I would be able to push when we got there.)
I really wanted to have something to give when it came to pushing and I needed rest after all the prodromal labors and latent labors had stolen so much energy reserve. My Doula mentioned getting checked before being sure... and I was at a 7 !!! and so elated I had made it to 7!!! and now give me the epidural... even if it slows things down. Beside Epidurals take so so sooo looong to get established. (wished I had presigned everything just in case).
The epidural was in by 4am, and I tried to sleep but couldn't. I ate peanut butter and honey mix. I closed my eyes and I made myself stop using the epidural button because i wanted to feel my contraction enough to breath for them and be tuned in. Hours and Hours went by, nurses changed shifts. I kinda plateaued at 8+ cm .
It took a while for me to care to get this moving, my energy level was worrysome. I tried making out with DH, which was nice. They broke my water bag and had me sit up to put more baby on the cervix. Still not to much going on.
I called my son to get some "give some" mommy hormones flowing... just after I hung up, I felt Amniotic Fluid gush and gush... and was told she must be moving down with the contractions or turning. What a wonderful sensation.
My amazing MD mentioned maybe a little pitocin was needed. I looked in her eyes... nodded and said "can anyone get me a breast pump?" In wheeled the double milker (lame lame lame but..) I did it, sat there knowing full well I have milk and not really seeing any flow, but I could feel after a bit the contrax get stronger. My annoyance picked up and I asked DH to go get me a sandwich. Chick-fil-A original and Iced tea. Imagine, he was suprised when I ate the whole thing and he had to run off and get another for himself. Turns out I pumped for over an hour and then put it down and told MD about my sandwich and how I could feel more pain. I wanteded a bolous of Epidural. That got her encouraged apparently.
The bolous arrived and while we were discussing how it wouldn't do much for me I said "Wow I can really feel this and I feel poopy". I got my bolus and we decided that all that sitting up must have blocked the epidural too much. But I had my legs. And thinking it was an experimental gesture and asked if we could see how I might work out on my knees they lowered the bed. I flipped right on over. WOW cool, stronger than an epidural.
Then I felt kinda stuck with these poopy feelings... and really wished I could just stop for a minute and go poop. The MD said if it felt pushy then I could push, and she checked me during a contraction and I wasn't "complete" because I was 10 with a "lip". IN my head I got hung up on not being "there yet" but she let me do my thing. If I felt pushy she was fine with that, and she kept her hand in there to tease back the lip.
I heard calls for mineral oil and heard drapes and things... but I didn't feel official and kept asking if I was at the pushing part yet... My doula told me to get out of my head - What mattered was what I felt .... I felt pushy, big POOPY pushy. Anyway my MD coaxed my cervix along and I pushed when I felt the need and really made myself let off that feeling and breath and oxygenate until I couldn't help those pushy feelings any longer. At some point I was calm enought to fix my hair and then...PUSH.
And then it was happening and I was that women or that other women I'd seen in home videos doing it, really doing it, me and my girl were really gonna have our moment... soooo surreal. Still interagting it. I reached back and felt her come at crowning. I pushed though it all and the funny thing was when she was supposed to slide all the way out an I was suppose to feel the big relief my daughter put her stamp on the event and got stuck at the hips, with what they jokingly called later, hip distocia. I had to come up with more to get her out! That was really tough for a moment, where the heck was I suppose to get what I needed to push again? Somehow I found it in me. Then there she was and I was sooo proud of both of us I could hardly speak, breath or cry.
Lots of Blood, probably standard afterbirth experience, and an overnight pit drip for my fairskinned, redheaded bleeding. I had one extremely minor tear thanks to the mineral oil rubbing my MD did and some controlled pushing at the end.
Baby and Momma recovered quickly and are falling in love.
AFTER 4 weeks of prodromal labor and 3 days of Latent Labor (3-5 min apart 1 min long, sessions usually all night) and 18 hours active labor... only 45 min of pushing... here she is!!!
No induction, no pitocin (until after for bleeding), just a membrane sweep after the 2 1/2 days of exhausting "real" labor.
The most amazing VBAC Success. I want to extend a very special THANK YOU to every single mother out there who has ever written her birth story down, posted pictures and videos or openly shared wishes, regrets, experiences and plans. My head was so full of ideas that I navigated this exhausting time suprisingly well. Bless you all.
August 28th, 3:07 pm
Coralynn Eleanor Micheal
9 lbs 3 oz, 21 inches long
42 wks 4 days gestation
Labored Monday night 9p-5am 3-5 min appart...petered out.
Tuesday sent my son to relatives expecting that was hold me back - nothing but some good sleep interupted by not as strong 10m apart contractions.
Wenesday night, nursed my son to bed - contrax started...5 then 3 min then 2 minutes apart... I called the doula who arrived at 3am and confirmed labor. Before dawn it began spacing and petering out. She went home around 9:30am exhausted. My contractions were down to 20 minutes apart.
Thursday afternoon I called my Midwife in Disguise to fill her in since she new things had picked up the night before but hadn't heard from us. She agreed to meet me at her office after hours. Around 7:30, we did an NST and cervical check - we were so curious, I tried to prepare for "no news" effect but I was 2 cm (instead of 1) 75% and favorable so on a "whim" I let her do a second membrane sweep.
We were home by 8:30 ...at 42 weeks and 3 days....I treated myself to two bowls of mint chip ice cream. After the second bowl I knew it was moving again at atleast 5 m apart - when we went to confirm it was more like 2-3 with 1+ contractions.
After all we'd been through my husband was skeptical and put our son to bed. I was already thinking "call the troops!". By the time he came out of the bedroom I was really rolling so he started cleaning up the kitchen and taking out the trash, sorting things to stay awake and get things in order I imagine. We had both become pretty good at the skepticisim and I was afraid to correct him since the midwife didn't really provide us with a reason to think NOW!
Anyway I went into my zone, he went online... next to me, keeping nearby. Somewhere along the way we decided the doula would work best at the hospital and when we touched base I didn't really indicate anything special or tell her about the membrane sweep, I told her to get rest.
Somewhere around 10p they became 2 minutes apart, at about 1 min long ( I had NO IDEA my body could or would do this to me!)
Around 10pm I made hubby draw me a bath. I didn't care if it slowed labor I wanted pain relief. Unfortunately I really just irritated the heck out of me and wasn't nearly warm enough. Then I had to drag my sorry, contracting self out of the tub and get dressed again. That took a while. It sucked.
About midnight I tried to ask the contractions to slow down so I could skip one or two and rest and I laid on the couch and asked hubby to rub my feet. That lasted 30 seconds, upon which I violently and imediately had to get UP! I was clearly unable to labor with her lying down. Quickly I was on the floor on all fours screaming for a bucket and threw up - I hated and loved that - it was something really going on...though I was sure it wasn't transition yet. I looked at the clock and thought I better tell Mark to get things moving, but I didn't. I was gonna hang in as long as I could.
Fifteen minutes later it was clear to me I could no longer cope with the contractions alone using imagery and inner talk I had had it and I knew I had a long trip to the hospital to meet everyone and get a frigin epidural. I told hubby to call everyone "NOW" we are going to the hospital. He had a moment of irritation because I was making him wake up 3 different households but he survived. Family was on the way to meet us at hospital along with Doula and MD.
The car ride was fun. I really had to focus not to scream and wake our son. Amazingly he had slept through everything at the house. I managed to be quiet for about 10 contax on the highway.
(hopefully not too triggering, but will mention molestation...)
When I arrived at hospital at about one am I HAD to walk from the door to the elevators and through the halls to L&D. There really was no otherway to handle hand off of son and get me situated. I did it, and mentally turned it in its ear... for all those who weren't allowed to walk in. Amazingly I did it with no actual contrac until I dropped my purse and handed off my medical card. This was quite a feat since I was contracting every two minutes, for a minute for the last three hours.
I met the most worn out nurse. I immediately asked if she had seen my birthplan. "NO but we have routines"... she tried to hand me a gown...NOPE hadn't read it for sure - specifically mentioned don't ask me to disrobe or wear a gown as it would be triggering of a molestation when I was 3 and boys played doctor on me.
Sooo. I asked for the alternative. Strip. Great!... that felt all wrong... so I got the old "Screw this" thing out of my back pocket and hid in the shower for about 30 minutes till my team was there. Everyone there knew my story - knew about all the therapy and work and "rules" I came up with to feel safe.
I put on an old ratty shirt I had worn years ago at Reiki retreat...
I was checked and found to be a 5 !!! I just kept saying "All by myself! I did it.". Five was such hard work on Pitocin with the birth of my son (requiring a folly bulb, and I never progressed past 5cm) three years ago.
I asked for the epidural upon which my amazing doula said 'O.K. but lets just try first to calm you down, lets just try'. And for two amazing hours I stared into her eyes as she talked out my focus for each contraction, growing roots... and then I started falling asleep between contractions. I was amazed. Her faith and focus helped me SOOOO much. But eventually the contractions started to really wear me down and I couldn't get "Epidural" out of my head (my thinking based on stories I have read was that sometimes we have to focus on the big goals, not be too stubborn, which I am very guilty of. I had to consider my energy level and whether I would be able to push when we got there.)
I really wanted to have something to give when it came to pushing and I needed rest after all the prodromal labors and latent labors had stolen so much energy reserve. My Doula mentioned getting checked before being sure... and I was at a 7 !!! and so elated I had made it to 7!!! and now give me the epidural... even if it slows things down. Beside Epidurals take so so sooo looong to get established. (wished I had presigned everything just in case).
The epidural was in by 4am, and I tried to sleep but couldn't. I ate peanut butter and honey mix. I closed my eyes and I made myself stop using the epidural button because i wanted to feel my contraction enough to breath for them and be tuned in. Hours and Hours went by, nurses changed shifts. I kinda plateaued at 8+ cm .
It took a while for me to care to get this moving, my energy level was worrysome. I tried making out with DH, which was nice. They broke my water bag and had me sit up to put more baby on the cervix. Still not to much going on.
I called my son to get some "give some" mommy hormones flowing... just after I hung up, I felt Amniotic Fluid gush and gush... and was told she must be moving down with the contractions or turning. What a wonderful sensation.
My amazing MD mentioned maybe a little pitocin was needed. I looked in her eyes... nodded and said "can anyone get me a breast pump?" In wheeled the double milker (lame lame lame but..) I did it, sat there knowing full well I have milk and not really seeing any flow, but I could feel after a bit the contrax get stronger. My annoyance picked up and I asked DH to go get me a sandwich. Chick-fil-A original and Iced tea. Imagine, he was suprised when I ate the whole thing and he had to run off and get another for himself. Turns out I pumped for over an hour and then put it down and told MD about my sandwich and how I could feel more pain. I wanteded a bolous of Epidural. That got her encouraged apparently.
The bolous arrived and while we were discussing how it wouldn't do much for me I said "Wow I can really feel this and I feel poopy". I got my bolus and we decided that all that sitting up must have blocked the epidural too much. But I had my legs. And thinking it was an experimental gesture and asked if we could see how I might work out on my knees they lowered the bed. I flipped right on over. WOW cool, stronger than an epidural.
Then I felt kinda stuck with these poopy feelings... and really wished I could just stop for a minute and go poop. The MD said if it felt pushy then I could push, and she checked me during a contraction and I wasn't "complete" because I was 10 with a "lip". IN my head I got hung up on not being "there yet" but she let me do my thing. If I felt pushy she was fine with that, and she kept her hand in there to tease back the lip.
I heard calls for mineral oil and heard drapes and things... but I didn't feel official and kept asking if I was at the pushing part yet... My doula told me to get out of my head - What mattered was what I felt .... I felt pushy, big POOPY pushy. Anyway my MD coaxed my cervix along and I pushed when I felt the need and really made myself let off that feeling and breath and oxygenate until I couldn't help those pushy feelings any longer. At some point I was calm enought to fix my hair and then...PUSH.
And then it was happening and I was that women or that other women I'd seen in home videos doing it, really doing it, me and my girl were really gonna have our moment... soooo surreal. Still interagting it. I reached back and felt her come at crowning. I pushed though it all and the funny thing was when she was supposed to slide all the way out an I was suppose to feel the big relief my daughter put her stamp on the event and got stuck at the hips, with what they jokingly called later, hip distocia. I had to come up with more to get her out! That was really tough for a moment, where the heck was I suppose to get what I needed to push again? Somehow I found it in me. Then there she was and I was sooo proud of both of us I could hardly speak, breath or cry.
Lots of Blood, probably standard afterbirth experience, and an overnight pit drip for my fairskinned, redheaded bleeding. I had one extremely minor tear thanks to the mineral oil rubbing my MD did and some controlled pushing at the end.
Baby and Momma recovered quickly and are falling in love.
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Bailout Bust
The more I think about it the more I am against this bailout. Maybe that is the point, maybe that is why there are some solid holdouts in Congress. Sure as shit I don't want the price of my house to fall any further and we could all use the credit markets staying open so we can relocate homes, buy cars and go about our lives.
I doubt that the worst case scenerios are really going to last as long as they say. I'm also starting to think that perhaps it is time to let the Markets of the western world correct themselves. Time for a gas consuming society to see the windfalls of its decisions. See I think this goes back to the Bush administrations decision to ignore the Kyoto Protocol.
Where would we be now if are economy had been allowed a natural slow down while we shifted to smarter fuels and ramped up education in science and engineering eight years ago? How much better off would we be? Eight years is enough time for a new college student to come out on the other side with a masters in engineering. It is enough time to create stronger science teachers, once sophmores in highschool themselves, now two years into an evolved curriculum for middleschoolers. I think eight years is enough time to go to war and yet find ourselves in a place where we don't need to invested in the interestes of the Arab states.
Eight years for our economy to evole, for our cars to become cleaner and greener, our housing to become more efficient. Time we could have slowed the outrageuos growth, the bubble.
Now the goverment is really overinvested in proping up a imaginary ecomony, based on feelings and perception rather than real hard core value. With our consuming ways, larger homes, larger cars we are a weaker nation. We've got toys but we haven't invested properly in brains and progress.
I hate to say it but I totally agree with Ron Paul on this. We should let this play out, let the market fix itself. We need to let supply and demand regulate the markets.
Lets hope we see fewer ads for perscription drugs and more ads for seeds and soil. Lets hope we see fewer ads for flat screen TVs and More ads for advancing our educations. Fewer ads for the next reality show and more ads for greener lightbulbs and solar panels. No more ads for Mc Cain, how about ads for town meetings and action committees. More sidewalks and bycicles, less gastric bypass surgeries.
Also let me say I think we definately need to let the financial institutions that became profiteer, dealing in non-reality fail. They could probably save themselve if they cut the five top paying positions in their companies completely. Let those buggers loose their second and third homes before stripping the average of tax benefits and programs for years to come.
See also http://www.time.com/time/business/article/0,8599,1845209,00.html?cnn=yes
Monday, September 22, 2008
Could the Goverment Take an Interest in Housing Prices?
This morning I read a saucy article about the United States of France online at Time Magazine. It got me thinking about another angle to the looming mortgage, banking, and finacial crisis facing our country. (Why is everyone so suprised by the way. This was thouroughly predicted and reported on by NPR four years ago.)
As the title of my blog would suggest, could the sudden vested interests of the Federal goverment into the debts of major financial institutions cause those number crunchers in WashingtonDC to reconsider the free market of home buying. Could home prices fall under new legislative considerations and be held back or cranked back by a goverment unwilling to over see so many $300 thousand plus loans issued in so many regions of the country.
Will residents of Los Angelos, California or Rockville, Maryland see home prices held down and let the renters of the world finally by in. I suppose it is possible. Of course right now the powers that be will probably declare that we are all free to buy and sell homes as we choose for what we choose. The bottom line however is that in less than a decade regulators in govermant and official at banks will have swapped chairs enough times that none of the will be sure who to route for. With the taste of financial colapse still lingering on their tougues mortgages will start to control the markets. Don't believe me, call a realtor and ask how business is going these days. The likely answer will be lousy, lousy because even though there are buyers, no one will issue mortgages these days, and the local house prices don't mean squat if no one is buying.
Think your house is worth $400,000 after a nice renovation? Think you bought a house in a solid community, with a easy commute, good schools, nice parks, and a high number of police residents coupled with extremely low crime? Sure you did, and you made a smart move, but you won't be able to upgrade or retire right now. The fantasy that you house can get roughly three times its value over ten years ago is gonna be a rough pill to swallow.
Current home owners, especially recent home purchasers are going to suffer. New home buyers, if they can scrape together a down payment and loan stand to benefit enormously from this market. Of course few have been able to find two quarters to rub together in my circle.
Another thought for us all to chew on is how does the increasing financial pressure effect families with stay at home moms? I guess I'll chop that one up next time.
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Very Early Miscarriage
I'm going to be frank and perhaps graphic. Don't read this if you are a squirmer, I'm not there to stop you.
I had a very early miscarriage yesterday. So early I feel a bit mixed about telling others, and that is a real shame. Surely not knowing you have something when you loose it should make it fairly easy to get over, but I'm a bit more complicated then that. Now that I know I have lost a pregancy I have already decided it was my fault because I drank to much caffiene. I am again doubting my bodies abilities while simultaneously telling myself nature knows best. In a word it is complicated.
I have searched all over the net to find confirmation that it was a lost pregnancy. There is very little information out there, perhaps because it is more common than we know and very private.
My loss passed while I slept one day into what I thought was a slightly off beginning to a normal menstrual cycle. I woke up, went to the bathroom and while wiping discovered an object the size of a small grape. No other clots were present, just this lone, perfectly formed round thing with something that looked like egg white attached to one end. I am very sure this was not "just a clot" by it's shear size and shape. The substance on the end of it I assume was the meager beginnings of an amniotic sac.
I can't find pictures to support what I know, but I can find charts. On top of passing this obeject my "period" stopped. I now feel some cramping, but am experiencing no bleeding. Again this confirms for me that this was a very early miscarriage and not a period. I imagine this did not even manage to attach itself.
I am writing about it to share my experience and add to the information pool on "very early" miscarriages.
I am experiencing a sense of loss, though I am not devastated. We have been trying to concieve for about four months now so I am dissapointed. I suppose I should simply feel encouraged that I lost this pregnacy very early, before I got attached to the idea of a pregnancy and child. Also it is nice to know my husband and I can concieve, and I will just have to trust that God thought it wasn't the right time or space for that particular pregnancy.
UPDATE: After discussing the circumstances of my pressumed miscarriage with my midwife (OBGYN) I have learned that without a pathology work up on what I passed that it could not be confirmed. However she did say that from everything I described it was most likely a very early miscarriage, and that it most likely did not implant very well in the first place. Mark asked me if I wanted to name it. I haven't decide yet. One thing I can say is that I'm not feeling too romantic and that in my mind we are going to stop "trying" for a couple of months. I need a break from the stress I have been putting on myself to make this happen.
I had a very early miscarriage yesterday. So early I feel a bit mixed about telling others, and that is a real shame. Surely not knowing you have something when you loose it should make it fairly easy to get over, but I'm a bit more complicated then that. Now that I know I have lost a pregancy I have already decided it was my fault because I drank to much caffiene. I am again doubting my bodies abilities while simultaneously telling myself nature knows best. In a word it is complicated.
I have searched all over the net to find confirmation that it was a lost pregnancy. There is very little information out there, perhaps because it is more common than we know and very private.
My loss passed while I slept one day into what I thought was a slightly off beginning to a normal menstrual cycle. I woke up, went to the bathroom and while wiping discovered an object the size of a small grape. No other clots were present, just this lone, perfectly formed round thing with something that looked like egg white attached to one end. I am very sure this was not "just a clot" by it's shear size and shape. The substance on the end of it I assume was the meager beginnings of an amniotic sac.
I can't find pictures to support what I know, but I can find charts. On top of passing this obeject my "period" stopped. I now feel some cramping, but am experiencing no bleeding. Again this confirms for me that this was a very early miscarriage and not a period. I imagine this did not even manage to attach itself.
I am writing about it to share my experience and add to the information pool on "very early" miscarriages.
I am experiencing a sense of loss, though I am not devastated. We have been trying to concieve for about four months now so I am dissapointed. I suppose I should simply feel encouraged that I lost this pregnacy very early, before I got attached to the idea of a pregnancy and child. Also it is nice to know my husband and I can concieve, and I will just have to trust that God thought it wasn't the right time or space for that particular pregnancy.
UPDATE: After discussing the circumstances of my pressumed miscarriage with my midwife (OBGYN) I have learned that without a pathology work up on what I passed that it could not be confirmed. However she did say that from everything I described it was most likely a very early miscarriage, and that it most likely did not implant very well in the first place. Mark asked me if I wanted to name it. I haven't decide yet. One thing I can say is that I'm not feeling too romantic and that in my mind we are going to stop "trying" for a couple of months. I need a break from the stress I have been putting on myself to make this happen.
Friday, September 05, 2008
Nothing at all says it all
I haven't written in a millenium.
I have so much running around in my head that I want to say about molestation and family secrets and ceserean sections and finances and for the life of me I can't muster the guts to be really honest with every one.
My mind is preoccupied with extra pounds, triglycerides, tropical storms, hurricanes, financial doom of loved ones, personal financial doom, conception, a feverish child, weedy gardens, caffeine consumption, pap smear results, and the difficult decision to put down my dog.
Having written nothing for so long is surely a sign of how I have managed to belittle myself into a corner and deny an outlet, and that says it all. Perhaps from my creative corner, full of personal trials, I will come out barking screaming mad with honesty and viciousness.
Don't blame yourselves for my insanity - I think I've done this all on my own. Wait, how arrogant would that be; taking credit for all the ills in the world. I remember reading more than once that Grandiosity went hand in hand with Depression.
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
The Falsie Awards
Check this link and read number four... heck read the whole thing but definately read number four. This world need watch dogs - watch cats, watch birds , etc...
http://survey.prwatch.org/public/survey.php?name=falsies2007
http://survey.prwatch.org/public/survey.php?name=falsies2007
Monday, November 05, 2007
Christmas instead of Chinamas
In light of all the hugely bad press about toys from China I thought I would share a couple of links I found to a online toy company that has divided its toy stock up by country so you may shop "Made in the USA" if you like.
Certainly it is helpful to know that you can shop local in lis global ecomony. I can certainly see a lot of future growth happening for some small US toy companies - and that is just wonderful. Visualize big Christmas bonuses going into some woodsmiths pocket. While you are at it, try and buy lots of locally made baked goods and locally grown foods this holiday season - and visit a local farmer.
Willow Tree Toys - Made in the USA
Willow Tree Toy - Shop by Country
A Farming Friend of Mine in PA
Certainly it is helpful to know that you can shop local in lis global ecomony. I can certainly see a lot of future growth happening for some small US toy companies - and that is just wonderful. Visualize big Christmas bonuses going into some woodsmiths pocket. While you are at it, try and buy lots of locally made baked goods and locally grown foods this holiday season - and visit a local farmer.
Willow Tree Toys - Made in the USA
Willow Tree Toy - Shop by Country
A Farming Friend of Mine in PA
Friday, November 02, 2007
Ucky Trans Fats
While shopping with my husband I have been puzzling over new food labels all over the store shelves these days. We've all heard about the dangers of trans fats. So it would seem great that foods we loved are now free off it. Hold on to you hats but this "zero" thing in a lie.
Partially Hydrogenated soybean/cotton seed/vegetable oils will still be listed in the ingredients and these things are trans fats. Thanks to the FDA, as of January 1 of 2007 food manufacturers can declare a food trans fat free as long as the serving sizes have less than 0.5 grams of Trans fats (or partially hydrogenated *insert oil here*).
Feeling down? Wanna binge? The tricky label isn't meant to protect you from bad snack food, it is intended to protect the manufacture of the "food". Though I can't prove it I wonder just how many cracker adn cookie makers changed the number of treats in a serving just to get that little number under 0.5 grams. How hard to you think it was on their conscious to say maybe make a serving two cookies instead of three just so they could tell you it was "Tran Fat Free" and sell you the box of tainted treats?
Partially Hydrogenated soybean/cotton seed/vegetable oils will still be listed in the ingredients and these things are trans fats. Thanks to the FDA, as of January 1 of 2007 food manufacturers can declare a food trans fat free as long as the serving sizes have less than 0.5 grams of Trans fats (or partially hydrogenated *insert oil here*).
Feeling down? Wanna binge? The tricky label isn't meant to protect you from bad snack food, it is intended to protect the manufacture of the "food". Though I can't prove it I wonder just how many cracker adn cookie makers changed the number of treats in a serving just to get that little number under 0.5 grams. How hard to you think it was on their conscious to say maybe make a serving two cookies instead of three just so they could tell you it was "Tran Fat Free" and sell you the box of tainted treats?
Monday, October 22, 2007
Thursday, September 06, 2007
Infant Potty training in the Media
Personally I feel the recent articles I have encountered regarding infant potty traing to be acurate and fair. Lets see if the link will work, and you can read and see them for yourself.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uaENzKvsnzo
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/20464264/
For anyone who finds this concept crazy you simply have to understand that if you have not seen or experienced a young child under the age of 12 month exhibit celf control you can not declare that it does not exist. How many of us believe in a God, or the Australia really is there?
My own son, now 12 months old, while unable to keep himself dry all the time does exhibit potty control, even during long car trips. He is aware that sitting on the potty is a special place to attempt to release urine and poo and often will pass gas there while "giving it a go". As many kids his age who have learned infant potty training he wets himself frenquently during the day because he is preoccupied with climbing, walking and running. Should I make the mistake of mentioning the potty without actually taking him to it we will have wet pants.
However he keeps his bedding dry at night most nights and now regularly wakes me up simply to have me carry him to his potty at 3 or 5 in the morning so that he can pee there. If he had no control over his bodily functions this would not be possible. Certainly a child with no control would simply live in the world with wet pants, urinating in a constant dribble. That is just not the case, their bladders and bowels are capable of holding onto waste until they feel a fullness and an urge to push it out.
An aware parent can help the child undress when it senses the child is uncomfortable, full or by knowing the pattterns of their childs elimination. Practicing this form of "potty training" in our home has given me great insights into teething, allergies and sense of non-wellbeing in my son. For example early teething is often accompanied by diarreah.
If you have not seen this in action you can not be so sure the control does not exist. The next time you see an infant pee the moment it's diaper is removed ponder this question - was it the cold air on their genitiles the gave them the urge to pee, or did the cold air simply let them know that their elimination was being tended to and that the given monent was a good time to ensure relief and comfort by having the waste attended to in that monent?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uaENzKvsnzo
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/20464264/
For anyone who finds this concept crazy you simply have to understand that if you have not seen or experienced a young child under the age of 12 month exhibit celf control you can not declare that it does not exist. How many of us believe in a God, or the Australia really is there?
My own son, now 12 months old, while unable to keep himself dry all the time does exhibit potty control, even during long car trips. He is aware that sitting on the potty is a special place to attempt to release urine and poo and often will pass gas there while "giving it a go". As many kids his age who have learned infant potty training he wets himself frenquently during the day because he is preoccupied with climbing, walking and running. Should I make the mistake of mentioning the potty without actually taking him to it we will have wet pants.
However he keeps his bedding dry at night most nights and now regularly wakes me up simply to have me carry him to his potty at 3 or 5 in the morning so that he can pee there. If he had no control over his bodily functions this would not be possible. Certainly a child with no control would simply live in the world with wet pants, urinating in a constant dribble. That is just not the case, their bladders and bowels are capable of holding onto waste until they feel a fullness and an urge to push it out.
An aware parent can help the child undress when it senses the child is uncomfortable, full or by knowing the pattterns of their childs elimination. Practicing this form of "potty training" in our home has given me great insights into teething, allergies and sense of non-wellbeing in my son. For example early teething is often accompanied by diarreah.
If you have not seen this in action you can not be so sure the control does not exist. The next time you see an infant pee the moment it's diaper is removed ponder this question - was it the cold air on their genitiles the gave them the urge to pee, or did the cold air simply let them know that their elimination was being tended to and that the given monent was a good time to ensure relief and comfort by having the waste attended to in that monent?
Monday, July 23, 2007
A Quick History of La Leche League
Seven women who brought breastfeeding back from extinction. When they founded their organization in 1956 only 21% of all infants in the "Medically Advanced" United States were breast fed at all. Now breastfeeding rates are at 71%. All it takes is open conversation between women to keep this going, to help truth persevere over "comfort proteins". Did you know about the Nestle boycott?
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
Life is Powerful and Precious
I might be lucky to be alive today. Last night I had a very close experience with the mystery of nature and the awesome powers it contains. Certainly, this little tale can be taken as a warning to anyone who wants to believe it.
Yesterday evening we experienced several thunderstorms, the last of which hit very near bed time. The lightning strikes were close enough that we unplugged our computers. A few minutes into the down pour that accompanied the lightning my husband remembered the garage door was still open. He lay helpless on the couch smoothered by our eleven month old son. I volunteered to run out and close it.
I paused a moment at the door trying to decided which garage light to turn on, inner or outer. I settled on both so that I could really see the raindrops. When I stepped out I saw is was raining really hard and it was wonderful to see since we have been experiencing a drought.
I walked around the back end of my car to see that the rain was splashing considerably far into the garage, maybe three feet. I pulled the door down and slowed it down with my hand. I was in bare feet so I took three or four quick large steps towards the lock on the door. There I was in wet bare feet, turning the lock when I saw (not so much on the “heard”) a huge flash of light and I knew it was bad. I felt it go up my leg! Up the right side of my body! Ahhh! AAHHHHH!
I dodged back between the cars where it was dry. I couldn’t decide what to do, if I was alive, if I was ok. My leg hurt, my right arm felt funny. My skin looked blueish. My heart, I don’t know, it felt funny. I’m not sure it was racing but I was certainly freaked out. I climbed over the hood of my car and up the garage steps. No one could have paid me to go back around the cars through the wet concrete.
When I opened the door, there stood my husband and baby wondering if I was ok. Very dramatically I start up with “I’ve been stuck by lightning”. Well yes maybe I had been but obviously I was ok. My right leg still feels a little weird today, one day after and it ached last night, but mostly I’m just fine. What really amazes me is I don’t really remember hearing it. Hubby started telling me how it hit our backyard and that it was so loud the glasses in the kitchen cabinet rattled. Maybe there was a half second delay between the strike and the thunder. I don’t remember hearing it. However I won’t soon forget it either!
Lightning Strikes
Yesterday evening we experienced several thunderstorms, the last of which hit very near bed time. The lightning strikes were close enough that we unplugged our computers. A few minutes into the down pour that accompanied the lightning my husband remembered the garage door was still open. He lay helpless on the couch smoothered by our eleven month old son. I volunteered to run out and close it.
I paused a moment at the door trying to decided which garage light to turn on, inner or outer. I settled on both so that I could really see the raindrops. When I stepped out I saw is was raining really hard and it was wonderful to see since we have been experiencing a drought.
I walked around the back end of my car to see that the rain was splashing considerably far into the garage, maybe three feet. I pulled the door down and slowed it down with my hand. I was in bare feet so I took three or four quick large steps towards the lock on the door. There I was in wet bare feet, turning the lock when I saw (not so much on the “heard”) a huge flash of light and I knew it was bad. I felt it go up my leg! Up the right side of my body! Ahhh! AAHHHHH!
I dodged back between the cars where it was dry. I couldn’t decide what to do, if I was alive, if I was ok. My leg hurt, my right arm felt funny. My skin looked blueish. My heart, I don’t know, it felt funny. I’m not sure it was racing but I was certainly freaked out. I climbed over the hood of my car and up the garage steps. No one could have paid me to go back around the cars through the wet concrete.
When I opened the door, there stood my husband and baby wondering if I was ok. Very dramatically I start up with “I’ve been stuck by lightning”. Well yes maybe I had been but obviously I was ok. My right leg still feels a little weird today, one day after and it ached last night, but mostly I’m just fine. What really amazes me is I don’t really remember hearing it. Hubby started telling me how it hit our backyard and that it was so loud the glasses in the kitchen cabinet rattled. Maybe there was a half second delay between the strike and the thunder. I don’t remember hearing it. However I won’t soon forget it either!
Lightning Strikes
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
Doggie Gets a Hair Cut
So why would anyone shave such a beautiful dog? Because as he has aged his hair has become thicker and his ability to manage the heat seems to have lessened. The flea and tick drops from the vet also have failed to prevent him from picking up ticks in the backyard. MY guess is that his fur was too thick to get full protection. The last straw was finding a bloated and popped tick in the kitchen that my baby had stepped on and tracked all over the floor.
I swore years ago I would never cut his hair because he was so beautiful but between the previously stated problems and the amount of hair that has litterally clogged the vacumm cleaner I decided it was best. This way The baby has almost no where to grab onto Bluew and pull his hair. I call that a bonus.
It's all just one more sign of my changing priorities, and the limits of my time. I could have put more energy into brushing out Bluew but my back hurts, and my back hurts, and Grady needs me, and well... my back hurts. I still love the dog a lot, but there is more on my plate.
As to why the haircut is so ugly, I did it my self with a dull clipper set. It took way too long but Bluew was a really good sport. Now Mark he calls Bluew the "Ack Ack Dog" after the characters in Mars Attacks. When the neighbor saw him the first thing he said was "I thought that dog was fat, but he's not." I told you guys...
Monday, May 07, 2007
Death Among Us
It has been a while since I have had to go to a funeral, so this last weekend I was very saddened to accompany my husband as he said good bye to a good friend, Mike. I have burried aquaintences and grandparents, but I've never seen someone have to burry a buddy. Watching sobbing, and fighting my own tears I hope we don't have to do this again for a long long time.
My husbands friend was like a brother to him, someone who laughed with him and challenged, even aggrevated him. Mike was the center of a whole world of good friends who played poker, watched sports and traveled together. My husband even stood up for Mike when he married, briefly, in the eighties.
We traveled 8 hours to attend his funeral that didn't do justice to "The Mike" and left all of his friends yearning for a fuller experience and a deeper grieving venue. How could a funeral ever do justice to someone who was so very present and alive? Certainly not a funeral full of preaching. No one was able to get up and eulogize him properly, and it seems many fought the urge to walk out.
I find myself weeping at times for my husbands loss. I have been facing my own futility this last week, because try as I might with hugs and kisses I could never really make this better for him. My husband is going to have to process this sudden and premature loss all by himself. Not only do I want to make it better for him but I am struggling to process the loss too. How does someone so vital sit down on his couch and die alone at the age of 50? How vulnerable are we all? What thread keeps us all going, yet takes someone so special.
This is not something we will ever really understand, and like the other deaths I have experienced it haunts us in the strangest of moments. It seems unreal. Despite the open casket and the empty shell inside it this will seem unreal for a very long time. My husband has lived so far away from Mike and his large group of firends for a few years now. This will take some time yet to believe it is true. For them it is immediate and horrible. What do you do when you can't go see Mike two or three times a week?
Mike left without an official will, so as his passing is shocking enough, the familys impending struggle to settle his affairs leaves us all sickened and reeling. It has me wondering - are my affairs in order? Are we going to be ready when death comes for us? Can I spare my family unnecessary and prolonged pain?
My husbands friend was like a brother to him, someone who laughed with him and challenged, even aggrevated him. Mike was the center of a whole world of good friends who played poker, watched sports and traveled together. My husband even stood up for Mike when he married, briefly, in the eighties.
We traveled 8 hours to attend his funeral that didn't do justice to "The Mike" and left all of his friends yearning for a fuller experience and a deeper grieving venue. How could a funeral ever do justice to someone who was so very present and alive? Certainly not a funeral full of preaching. No one was able to get up and eulogize him properly, and it seems many fought the urge to walk out.
I find myself weeping at times for my husbands loss. I have been facing my own futility this last week, because try as I might with hugs and kisses I could never really make this better for him. My husband is going to have to process this sudden and premature loss all by himself. Not only do I want to make it better for him but I am struggling to process the loss too. How does someone so vital sit down on his couch and die alone at the age of 50? How vulnerable are we all? What thread keeps us all going, yet takes someone so special.
This is not something we will ever really understand, and like the other deaths I have experienced it haunts us in the strangest of moments. It seems unreal. Despite the open casket and the empty shell inside it this will seem unreal for a very long time. My husband has lived so far away from Mike and his large group of firends for a few years now. This will take some time yet to believe it is true. For them it is immediate and horrible. What do you do when you can't go see Mike two or three times a week?
Mike left without an official will, so as his passing is shocking enough, the familys impending struggle to settle his affairs leaves us all sickened and reeling. It has me wondering - are my affairs in order? Are we going to be ready when death comes for us? Can I spare my family unnecessary and prolonged pain?
Thursday, April 26, 2007
The Power of Language
Here is a link to an amazingly well thought out and poinient article about the over cautious use of language by the health professionals who wish to promote breast feeding. In in they artfully point out that "special", as is "breast feeding promotes a special relationship between mother and child", is sometimes too complicated and that "best" gives way for a lower standard to slip in. It leaves the reader asking if "Breast is Best" is the most effective way to communicate the truth about the importance of breast feeding.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)